Today is not a very good day for me. I have some unhappy moments with my friends. First, I have some disagreement with the PIC (Person-in-charge) in a session. I knew the decision made by the PIC was ridiculous, but she insisted on her ideas. I can do nothing but followed her decision, which made me feel extremely bad.

Since we had some form of arguement here, I then nearly spoke no word to that girl. And she seemed to try not to speak to me as well. I felt very unhappy about this. I am a volunteer, but why should I be suffered from some nasty things here?! I feel NO WARM in this group. It is a very disappointing thing for me.

After dinner, people went to play mahjong, but I did not have a happy moment there. Since I was a new member there, I nearly knew nothing about their past, let alone their jokes. When I tried to find a chance to reply, they just said I was wrong. Then, when they shared some topics, they just shared to each other, I asked them what they were sharing, they did not tell me much and I had no words to reply them. However, they said it was normal to new members. I totally disagreed with them! What the hell is this idea? A normal thing to torture a new member? God damn it! I come here for fun, not to be a clown to be laughed at!

Then I started to keep quiet because I did not know what to say then. However, they talked less to me as well and they kept on their naive jokes, which made me more like an outsider! I tried to speak up and raised some topics, but no one answered me. I was extremely unhappy about this. RESPECT TO EACH OTHER. SERVE ONE ANOTHER. Not TORTURE ONE ANOTHER! Why can we speak with our sincere heart but torturing-like words? Is it a good way to communicate?